Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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