her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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