Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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