I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
