i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Your cock deserves a montage
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
