Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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