with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there was a trapeze. enough said
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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