On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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