Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
