from now on my penis is your penis
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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