I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
