i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
