tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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