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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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