You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
