Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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