3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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