Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
