think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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