When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
