so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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