Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
