Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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