I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
