I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
