thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
