When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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