that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
