god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize