After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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