you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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