She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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