making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
