i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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