whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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