ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
