Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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