I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
