Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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