I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
