waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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