Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
not ubering you a puppy
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
