apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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