I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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