So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
