I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
