Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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