Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
