I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
