So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
