I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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