One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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