WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
