can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
