Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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