I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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