totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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