Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
