we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dicks are not precious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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